Coaching is a two-way process...
I had the wonderful experience this week of an unsolicited testimonial from a client I’d just finishing working with:
I got lots of lovely comments congratulating me on my client's result.
However - it was my client that actually did the work.
I guided her on her journey (and it was a privilege to do so! 😍).
But it was her commitment to the process, her willingness to be honest, open and take action, that made it a success.
If you’re not coachable, coaching won’t work…
I’ve seen with my clients that there are certain patterns of behaviour or thought that are crucial to a successful coaching journey.
So this blog is all about how you can best approach coaching with me, so that you can banish your Imposter and discover your Naked Confidence™.
1. Recognise you don’t like where you are
I say it repeatedly: self-awareness is the first step.
Without that, you don’t have the recognition that you have a problem.
You don’t see that if you do nothing, nothing will change.
And you recognise that you can’t do it alone - because going it alone isn’t getting you anywhere.
This realisation is usually what prompts people to reach out and ask for coaching.
Part of my job when we first start off is to reassure you that, although this self-awareness can be painful, it is the springboard that will take you forward into your new life 💪
But unless you have that recognition that you don’t like where you are, you will be missing that motivation to change.
I coach women who want to change.
2. Be willing to accept support, and to learn
Coaching is NOT a one-way process, where I am the guru and you sit at my feet, lapping up my words of wisdom.
I will be the first to say that I don’t have all the answers.
But that’s OK - in fact, that’s not the job of a coach.
My job is to help you find the answers - and that Naked Confidence™ - that’s already inside you 🔥
And I do that by asking probing questions, providing a supportive challenge to your habitual patterns of thought, and reflecting back to you the world, or your perspective on it, in a different way.
And of course I also teach you new skills, tools and techniques to help you banish that Imposter and discover your Naked Confidence™ 😁💪
We are on this journey together.
In order for this journey to be successful, you do need to be willing to accept my support.
To recognise that you may have things you could do better.
And be open to learning new perspectives, or new ways of thinking.
My commitment to you is that our journey is unique: the dynamic we have can never be replicated with anyone else 💖
And I will adapt our journey to your personal needs.
However, I am highly-experienced in guiding people on this journey, so it's important that you trust that.
I coach women who are open to guidance.
3. Choose to believe that things can get better.
At the start of Lockdown 1.0, I recorded a video about Pandora’s Box.
Most people know the old Greek myth: when Pandora opened the forbidden box, all the evils flooded into the world.
But what people often forget is that at the very bottom of the empty box was something very important: hope 🌟
When you are struggling, it can feel very bleak, and that there is no light at the end of the tunnel - that things cannot change. But the stark reality is that that is an unhelpful thought.
My coaching is based on the idea that you accept where you are now (self-awareness), and are choosing to take action to change that.
For coaching to be successful, you have to believe that change is possible!
🌟 I can tell you that I have done this before, with many clients.
🌟 I can tell you I’ve done it myself: I used to think myself into panic attacks, or being bedridden for months at a time - and I learned how to change that only through changing my thoughts.
🌟 But it’s also really important that you are able to believe that.
I coach women who believe that they CAN change their future for the better.
4. Be honest and open
Being vulnerable can be scary.
But as Brené Brown so persuasively argues, it’s through being willing to be vulnerable that we step into our power 💖
The same is true in coaching.
It can be difficult, opening up about the bad feelings - shame, fear, guilt, weakness.
(And I would never want you to stay in those negative places too long, because then we’re just reinforcing those neural pathways.)
But being honest about them is what will enable me to craft the most powerful and effective journey for you 😊💪
And if your thoughts or feelings change as we progress, I want you to tell me!
I was working with a client once, and they started a session looking nervous.
They explained they’d been thinking since our last session, and had changed their minds about the goal we'd agreed at the last session - and they were worried I’d be cross!
Actually of course, it’s quite the opposite: if this is the conclusion they’ve come to after further reflection, then that makes it even BETTER than the point we’d got to at the previous session 😁
The truth is what matters, not me (or anyone) being “right”.
The magic of coaching happens when two people really engage, open and honestly, and on an emotional and intellectual level, in a shared journey 💞
My commitment: I will be honest with you (gently, if necessary!).
And that is what I look for in return - because without it, coaching will never be truly transformational.
I coach women who are willing to be honest and open with me.
5. Take action!
Last but definitely not least: change will only happen if you choose to take action 💪
Our sessions can deliver extraordinary transformations:
(“This changes everything!” one client said to me after a particularly powerful exercise.)
But it’s the work you do BETWEEN the sessions that will make the difference in the end.
You are where you are today because of the ingrained patterns of thought you have:
❌ that negative inner voice
❌ those limiting beliefs,
❌ that distorted perspective
...all eroding your confidence and self-belief 😔
To fully overcome those requires consistent effort.
I will be there with you, all the way - I am in regular contact with my clients between our fortnightly sessions.
(I see part of my job as being that cheerleader for you, until your internal voice has learned how to do it and can take over that role from me 🔥)
But ultimately, you are the one inside your own head.
You are the one making choices about the thoughts you allow to stay there - and the ones you choose to uproot.
You are the one choosing to do the homework, or do the exercises I’ve given you.
I will show you the way.
I will give you the tools you need.
But only you can make that choice to use them 💪
I coach women who are committed to taking action.
I LOVE what I do 😍💖
Helping you banish your Imposter and discover your Naked Confidence™ is my mission.
I believe so strongly that society benefits when you have more women in positions of power and influence.
And I will do my utmost to support my clients to succeed in their dream job (with the salary to match).
It is a privilege to work with the ambitious and talented women that are my clients 🌟
I am so lucky and grateful that I get to support them on their journey to achieving their goals 🙏
If you feel that you fit these criteria:
Recognise you don’t like where you are
Be willing to accept support and learn
Choose to believe that things will get better
Be honest and open
then please get in touch - I’d love to help you 😁
You can find out more about my 3 month “Banish Your Imposter and Discover Your Naked Confidence” Programme here.
And you can arrange your free 45 min intro call (so that you can experience some of my transformational tools, and we can see if we "fit"), by emailing me on email@example.com or booking into my calendar here.
Wishing you a Nakedly Confident week! 😊🔥💪
with love 💖
p.s. I LOVE helping my clients achieve profound transformations that help them banish their Imposter Syndrome and discover their Naked Confidence™.
So if you'd like my help, do reach out - we could soon be starting a coaching journey together to help you achieve just that 😊💖