It's Christmas Eve! 🎉🎄
And as an early Christmas present, here's the final instalment of my Naked Confidence™ Advent Calendar 🤶
✴️ R IS FOR RESPECT 🎁✴️
"No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent."*
It's taken me a few years to fully grasp the amazingness of this quote 😍
It works in your personal life; in your career; and it's equally applicable to your negative thoughts/ #ImposterSyndrome.
It may be uncomfortable to recognise this - but YOU are responsible for your thoughts.
If they're not supporting you, YOU can do something about it 💪
No-one - including yourself - can make you feel inferior (or negative in any way), without you allowing that to happen... 😞
I'm not saying it's easy to overcome this - while it can be, it definitely isn't always.
But it can be done! 😁💪
🎁 R's ACTION
I'm a bit fan of affirmations - the more you hear yourself say something, the more you will believe it! 😍
🔥 "[NAME], you are worthy. You are enough. You are loved."
(or whatever helps you feel that wonderful feeling of self-Respect).
NB recent research suggests that we respond most powerfully to affirmations when we talk to ourselves
✅ using our name
✅ and in the third person (ie "you are" rather than "I am").
Try it, and see! 😊🔥
*Eleanor Roosevelt, just in case!
✴️ S IS FOR STRESS 🎁✴️
"It's not the stress that kills you - it's your reaction to it"*
Acute stress - those short bursts of high-intensity - aren't fun
- but they aren't what do the damage 😬
It's CHRONIC stress that's the problem
- when stress happens too often, and you don't give yourself a chance to recover in between 😩
It takes 4-6 hours for your nervous system to re-set after a stress episode.
❗️Remember that recovery period!
It's helps stop you ending up with chronic stress, which is the type that kills you... 😱
🎁 S's ACTION
My favourite anti-stress tool is box breathing
🌟 a quick and easy way to help re-set your system after a stress episode.
✅ Simply breathe in for eg 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, out for 4 counts, and hold for 4 counts.
✅ Then repeat!
Ideally you want to slowly extend your counts until you are up to nearer 10
(ie count up to 4 for a few cycles, then go to 5 for a few cycles, then to 6 etc...)
✨ this gradual slowing of your breathing increases the calming of your system.
It has an instant positive impact - and helps you prevent developing that dangerous chronic stress... 😁💪
*quote from Hans Selye, the physician who first defined stress.
✴️ T IS FOR "TYRANNICAL SHOULD" 🎁✴️
Once upon a time, a woman stood in a room in Thailand.
On her outstretched arms she balanced a huge pile of very heavy, brightly-coloured floor cushions.
Next to her, a grey-haired man with bushy eyebrows man held another cushion.
He looked her in the eyes, and asked, "do you want another cushion on that pile...?"
She had to decide what to do 🤷♀️
Each cushion represented one of the "Tyrannical shoulds" she was putting on herself.
The ache in her arms made it viscerally clear, the burden she was bearing -
she was CHOOSING to bear 😩
Did she want to add another cushion to the pile?
No, she did not.
She put the cushions down... 🌟✨
This was a turning-point moment for me, in my struggle with what I call the "Tyrannical should" 😊💪
🎁 T's ACTION
Notice your language:
❗️"should" is too often a stick we use to beat ourselves up with!
Especially when we struggle with #ImposterSyndrome...
You CAN choose an alternative:
✅ choose to
✅ would like
Don't labour on under the weight of all those "shoulds"
- you too can choose to put the cushions down... 😍
✴️ U IS FOR UNIQUE 🎁✴️
Comparisonitis is even more prevalent than Covid.
It's a debilitating disease...
(Especially among those suffering from #ImposterSyndrome.)
And in comparison with those around us:
😩 we undervalue our talents
😩 we underestimate our impact
😩 we underrate our achievements.
🎁 U's ACTION
Today's action is very simple:
- to remember, you are UNIQUE!
There is no-one else in the world just like you.
Comparisons are pointless.
✅ stay in your own lane
✅ keep focussed on your own progress
✅ and keep remembering to recognise your own achievements.
If you haven't done it yet, make a list of at least 20 things you're proud of achieving this year (or more than 20 if you can!) 😊💪🔥
✴️ V IS FOR VICTIM 🎁✴️
You can sometimes feel completely at the mercy of your #ImposterSyndrome.
Those terrible thoughts that take over, undermining you, dragging you down... 😩
But it doesn't help to allow yourself to get stuck in a Victim mindset.
It makes you feel passive and powerless 😞
And you're not! ✨
You CAN change this 😁💪
When I was working to overcome my Imposter-fuelled chronic fatigue
- I used to listen to George Michael's "Faith" every morning to remind myself,
✨ "you've got to have faith, faith, faith..." ✨
- that by re-training my brain, I WOULD overcome my unhelpful thought patterns, and regain my mental and physical health..
And I did 😁💪🙏
🎁 V's ACTION
It can be so helpful to have a reminder to keep going, that change IS possible.
It helps keep you out of that stuck, Victim mindset.
🔥 What would be yours?
🌟 A song, an object, an image?
🔥 Identify it, and look at it or listen to it every day!
It WILL make a difference... ✨
✴️ W IS FOR WANT 🎁✴️
"I wish I had a magic wand and could make it all go away in an instant - but I don't".
I say this to every new client.
I WISH it was that simple... 😔
But unfortunately the truth is that re-wiring your brain to get rid of your #ImposterSyndrome takes consistent effort, over time.
You have to really WANT it.
So you're then motivated to take action to get it 😁💪
🎁 W's ACTION
If you don't know what you Want, how will you ever get it?
It's a great time of year to be setting intentions.
So, what is that YOU Want for 2022? 🤷♀️
My word for 2022 is "DEEP"
- I feel so amazingly lucky to have the life and career that I have, with the love of my family, and the incredible satisfaction of making a difference in the world.
So my goal is even more of the same 😁🔥💪
❌ No Shiny Object Syndrome.
❌ No distractions, dissipation or diffusion.
✅ Instead, going DEEP on the stuff that really matters: my health, my family, and KGC Ltd.
What about you - what's yours...? 🤔
(And if that happens to be wanting to smash your Imposter, you know where to come... 😉)
✴️ HAPPY CHRISTMAS! 🎁✴️
🎁 X IS FOR XMAS!
🎁 Y IS FOR YULE!
🎁 and Z IS FOR ZZZZZZZ...
(an opportunity for a good rest at the end of a busy year... 🤗)
This is the last instalment of my Naked Confidence™ Advent Calendar...
...and all that remains is to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! 🤶🎄✨
Thank you very much to EVERYONE that has been part of my 2021
💖 readers, commenters, coaches & colleagues
💖 and especially my business buddy Nicola Pitt
💖 and my Administrator Ruth Walker for her invaluable support (and patience!).
But the biggest thank you of all goes to my wonderful clients
- for trusting me to support their transformation from Imposter Syndrome to Naked Confidence 😊🙏💖
It is a joy and a privilege to share your journey! 😍
Onwards and upwards for us all in 2022 😁🔥💪
🎁 X, Y & Z's ACTIONS
Your final action: to have a happy & (hopefully) healthy festive season and an even better 2022! 😁🔥💪
See you in the New Year! 🎉
with much festive love 🤶💖
p.s. things to look forward to next year: my next Masterclass, and my new Imposter Syndrome support networking group... 😁