🎁 Naked Confidence™ Advent Calendar - K to Q 🎁

Welcome to the third & penultimate instalment of my Naked Confidence™ Advent Calendar!

If you missed the two previous weeks, click here for A - C, and click here for D - J.

✴️ K IS FOR KINDNESS ✴️

How kind are you, to YOU? 🤔

Most of us recognise the importance of being kind to others

- while beating ourselves up inside our heads 😩

As the saying goes, you'd never speak to a friend or a child the way you speak to yourself 😔

And this is especially true with #ImposterSyndrome, when that inner Critic is louder and more vicious than most 🥺

🎁 K's ACTION

Take a moment, and picture yourself as a young child - maybe under 10.

Really look at that little you

- see the clothes you're wearing, the hairstyle, the expression on your face 🧒

Then remember that little you is still inside you ✨

When you next notice you beating yourself up (see A for self-Awareness!)

- picture that little child again, and then talk directly to them.

You will notice your language change! 😊

Learning compassion and self-kindness is such an important step 🤗🤗🤗

✴️ L IS FOR LANGUAGE 🎁✴️

Do you "ALWAYS", or "NEVER", do something? 🤔

What about those things you "SHOULD" or "OUGHT TO" be doing...? 🤷‍♀️

Language can be very dangerous.

As one of my favourite quotes says,

🌟 "watch what you tell yourself - you might be listening..."

💡 When we use black and white language (always/ never)...

...or imperative obligations (should/ought to)...

⛔️ we're creating limits for ourselves.

❗️or a stick to beat ourselves up with 😩

And feeding that Imposter...

🎁 L's ACTION

So today, watch your language!

Add in "SOMETIMES", or "YET" - so much growth mindset magic in those three little words 🌱✨

and turn "SHOULDs" into "WANTs" or "WISHes".

Your mindset will thank you! 😄💪

✴️ M IS FOR MIRROR 🎁✴️

When you consider your abilities and achievements, do you give yourself a TRUE reflection? 🤔

Or is it like you're looking in a fun house mirror - all distorted and wonky...? 😔

❌ So many of my clients don't realise their own value.

❌ They aren't willing to own their positives.

❌ They don't lean into their strengths.

🤷‍♀️ "Anyone could have done it..."

🤷‍♀️ "But it was a fluke!"

🤷‍♀️ "I only achieved it because of the team around me..."

❗️If we can't see how great we are - honestly, how can we ever hope to convince anyone else...?

🎁 M's ACTION

Make that choice to own your strengths! 😁💪

Here's two options:

✅ Easy: when someone compliments you, don't deflect it or undermine it - simply say "thank you".

✅ Harder: email/ text 5-10 friends & colleagues and ask them to describe you in 5-10 words.

Go for the harder one if you can

- when I do this with my clients, it can be a radical experience for them to realise what other people really think of them... 😁🌟🔥

✴️ N IS FOR NEUROPLASTICITY 🎁✴️

Imagine a field with a gate at either side 🌾

As people walk between the two gates, the grass is worn away and a path is created...

...which means people are even more likely to walk that path in the future.

BUT if one of those gates is moved, a NEW path is created - and the grass regrows over the old path 🌟

The same happens in the brain!

Every thought you think fires a neural pathway in your brain ⚡️

The more often you think a thought, the more embedded that pathway becomes (physically - the synapses literally move closer together)...

...meaning you're more likely to think that thought again.

😩 If that thought is negative (eg "I'm a fraud"), this is not helpful

😁 But just like the grass in that field, if you choose to consistently redirect your thought (eg to "I can do this")...

...that negative pathway will over time wither, and the new POSITIVE thought will become the default 🔥

I know this to be true, because I've done it.

I used to have very ingrained Imposter-fuelled negative pathways, which led me to chronic fatigue and panic attacks.

But then I learned how to change my thoughts - and I haven't been ill since 😊💪

🎁 N's ACTION

When you find yourself in a negative thought pattern, ask yourself,

💡 "is this thought helpful to me?"

And if the answer is no, change it to one that is!

❌ Eg FROM: "I'm going to be terrified when I have to speak up in that meeting"

✅ TO: "I am going to be calm and confident and express myself clearly"

Don't worry at this stage about whether or not you believe it!

The most important priority is to NOT further embed the negative thought, but instead work on building a more positive pathway.

If you build it, the belief will come... 😉✨

(Anyone else remember Field of Dreams...? 😉)

✴️ O IS FOR ORGANISATION 🎁✴️

A very common fear among my clients is that they're going to drop the ball

- and it's all going to come tumbling down around them... 🥺

But the truth is, there is a direct relationship between your organisation (or lack of it) and your #ImposterSyndrome.

💡 Because you feel overwhelmed, it makes your Imposter Syndrome stronger

- who am I to think I can do this?! 🤷‍♀️

But importantly, your Imposter Syndrome is also a CAUSE of your disorganisation:

❌ you don't prioritise your own work

❌ you don't set effective boundaries

❌ you don't say NO.

Too busy people-pleasing to make the hard decisions about what is the best thing to be doing, for you, right now... 😞

🎁 O's ACTION

✨ Your time & energy are like a pile of golden glitter

✨ This pile isn't endless - so you have to be careful about how & where you sprinkle it

✨ Don't spread it too thin!

And don't throw it about thoughtlessly... 😬

Really think about what will benefit from that glitter, and pile it up!

Be focussed and strategic about how you use your time & energy - and you will get better results 😁💪

(And stop reinforcing that Imposter...)

✴️ P IS FOR PROCRASTINATION 🎁✴️

You know WHAT you want to get done.

But you just can't make yourself do it! 😬

And the longer it goes on, the more impossible it feels... 😱

Procrastination can be so debilitating - and it's very common when you have #ImposterSyndrome.

❌ Fear of failure

❌ perfectionism

❌ overwhelm

all contribute to this horrible stuckness.

🎁 P's ACTION

When I notice procrastination (for me, anything I find boring and/or hard, eg sorting out finances... 😩)

I remind myself:

🌟 "You can do anything for 15 minutes" 🌟

I learned this from an American super-cleaner called FlyLady.

⏲ I set a timer, and get started - because really, 15 minutes, how hard can it be? 🤷‍♀️

It works every time 😁💪

Once you've got over that initial mountain of inertia and got STARTED, it's so much easier to carry on... 🔥

Try it with anything you notice you're procrastinating over today 😁

✴️Q FOR QUESTIONING 🎁✴️

Thoughts aren't real.

My world changed forever when I learned this 🌟

Just because my #ImposterSyndrome was telling me, "you are a failure" (or whatever your Imposter is telling you)

didn't make it the TRUTH 😲

Instead, you have the ability to QUESTION what you have in your head -

which takes away its power 😁💪

🎁 Q's ACTION

When you notice yourself thinking something unhelpful to you, ask yourself that simple but powerful question:

🤔 "is that really true?" 🤔

And then notice how you feel when you realise that it isn't

- which it won't be, most of the time... 😁🌟

Remember,

🔥 "the important thing is not to stop questioning"

If Einstein said it, it has to be true... 😉

Conclusion

And that's the Naked Confidence Advent Calendar K - Q! 🎉

Next week we'll have the final run-up to Christmas with R - Z (including X for Xmas 😁🎄).

with festive love 🤶💖

Kirsten xx

p.s. if you haven't taken my Quiz yet, you can find out which type of Imposter you are by clicking here... 😁